Monday, October 31, 2011

The Adventure

            I think it’s funny when we say we need to say we need to “figure out” our lives (I do it all the time). The thing that I realized is that we never really figure out our lives, we can make plans that take us a few steps forward, but things change, and we change.
            I mentioned before that I was looking at internships for next summer. I'm thinking about Washington DC, San Francisco, and maybe New York.
            The thing is that I once made unnecessary sacrifices and held myself back from progressing for something else- even though it wasn’t required or asked of.  I’m going go leave this summer, and I’m not staying for anything or anyone. I don’t want this to come off in the wrong way, but this is something that I need to do. I want to be able to do this on my own, progress my career, and be independent. 
            I know that there are things that are more important than this adventure that I want to do, and sometimes there are emergencies and other circumstances, but if life comes up then I'll make it work.

Friday, October 14, 2011

A Hearty Yes

Timing. The story of my life (As in I often don’t have it).
You know those moments where you know that you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be? Those moments are precious, and it’s really one of the best feelings. I love the flow of life that takes you about.
As I look at where I’ve been and where I’m going I am truly grateful. I think we all make plans (and plans are necessary), but they never really ever go as we think. I think it’s during those moments that define us. When the river of life is disrupted by the unknown and you make the decision to be better for it, then I think in the end the new course has the possibility to be better than we could have possibly imagined- it takes time though.
“You don’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, well you just might find you get what you need.” Sometimes there are plans that we didn’t even know that existed that actually fit us better, but we go through some crazy road to get there.
Failure is rough. Really rough. But so many times I think our failures can just be steps to take us into another direction that is better. We can’t be afraid to try something because of the fear of failure. So much is hindered by fear.
I don’t want my fear to stop me from progressing. Right now I’m contemplating my next big adventure and trying to figure out where I should go for an internship next summer. A little early yes, but just trying to plan graduation and a few things. The thing is that I’m scared that I’m inadequate. But I also know Ihave to throw it out the window and plunge in, and see what happens. I can make it happen.
“The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yet to your adventure.” - Joseph Campbell.
Take that inadequacy! I’m saying a hearty yes to my next adventure!

Friday, October 7, 2011


              The best dance that I ever had was with a stranger. We danced in the dark, and my scarf blew in the wind of the fan as he guided me across the dance floor in silence and rhythm.
Sometimes it’s just easier to be with strangers. The distance and ambiguity serves as security; the unknown is liberating. Strangers, darkness, and masks- these things strip us of our inhibitions and show us who we really are, or who we want to be. In the moment no one knows who you are, and it doesn’t matter because you’re just dancing, and during that song all that really matters is the dance- everything else just fades.
I’ve often gone on trips into the unknown with strangers, and I think that I almost prefer it. As I explore unfamiliar lands and experiences it’s a completely new adventure with ample amounts of opportunity. This weekend I’m joining up with some random people from my church that I don’t know and driving in a car with them a few hours south to go hiking in Arches.
There is something whimsical and romantic about taking off with a car full of strangers. The ambiguity allows you the choice to move about in silence and rhythm.
At the same time, why can’t we be who we are when our closest friends surround us? Sometimes I think we change or hope to change, but everyone expects us to be the same as who we were, and so they treat us as such.  It’s hard to be different when everyone expects you to be the same. It’s during these times that the person who has been changed must hold strong, and as time passes others will gradually come to see what you already have known for so long.  
Being with strangers though gives you an opportunity to be who you are and become someone who you want to be. There is no context; no one treats you like they always have because they just know you as you. Maybe I like traveling with strangers to distant lands so much because it gives me time to reflect, and think, and possibly emerge to aspire for something better.
There’s a time and a place for dancing with strangers in the dark. Songs end, and lights come on. Who do you want to be when the song ends? And who do you want to be with?